The Dove

This post is about my mom.  She had larynx cancer almost two decades ago and our harsh winters are hard on her.  She gets pneumonia easily and trachea infections.  We have almost lost her a couple times over the years, but a short stay in the hospital and she recovers and comes back home.

She suffers from depression and frequently lives under a black cloud.  I always try to cheer her up and keep her moving forward. And, she always let me vent about my days...with no judgement.

She spent Christmas day with us.  It was an unusually cheerful day.  Two of my three children were home and even though it had been a financially devastating year for us, we were able to get my mom some gifts.  She is hard to buy for...usual gifts are for her cats or watching the birds.  Under protest, we bought some gifts that she loved.  Old VHS tapes.  We bought them at Good Will and other used item stores.  She couldn't be too upset knowing we paid close to nothing for them....and she loves to watch movies.  So...it was a great day!  She loved the tapes and even asked for a few specific titles.

The week between Christmas and New Years went quickly.  My mom was developing her usual winter crud.  Coughing, shortness of breath...and using her oxygen much more.  By the weekend she was having a lot of trouble. 

I had been at her house on Saturday and we discussed going to the hospital.  NO WAY!  She had what she needed at home!  Which, for the most part, was true.  The local ER never did much for her except give her oxygen and antibiotics.  So, it was hard to argue with her to go.  I left and told her to call me if she gets worse or needed anything.

The next day, my husband and son were playing cards in the dining room.  My husband yelled, "There's a dove out on the deck!"  Neither of us ever remember seeing a dove here.  It was out on the railing, not even close to the feeders.  It stayed for less than a minute and departed.  I had gone to the window to see it and it was gone before I could get a better look.  I turned to my husband and asked, "Do you think my mom passed away?"  As bizarre as that sounds, my husband quickly agreed that I should call my mom.

The phone rang and shortly she answered.  "Hi Mom!"  She said she was better but had decided she needed antibiotics.  I told her that I would make arrangements for her right away in the morning and would let her know what the doctor said.  She might have to go in.  She wasn't happy about that but said to let her know.  Before we hung up she told me she loves me very much.  I was able to tell her that I love her very much as well.

The next morning after I had gotten the arrangements made to pick up antibiotics for her, I called her.  No answer.   The short of it...My husband and I went to her house and she had passed away in her sleep on the couch where she usually slept watching movies.

Had that dove not come, I may not have called my mom.  My dad passed 26 years ago.  He called every Sunday.  I had just finished nursing my baby daughter and she was asleep.  I didn't want to move and wake her, so when he called I told my husband that I would talk to him next week.  He died that night.  I have, for 26 years, felt guilty that I didn't get up to talk to him. 

So, the dove came to give me closure with my mom.  She is at peace.  I miss her terribly but know she is with her mom...where she has wanted to be for a very, very long time.